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Dealing with Two Faces June 28, 2013

Posted by David Dirks in Changing behavior, Handling hot buttons, Relationship.
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David Dirks

David Dirks

The oldest challenge in business is dealing with people who have two faces.  You know what I mean.  They show you one face but really have another completely different face they don’t want to show you.  Saying one thing but really meaning another.  Doing one thing but really undermining you behind the scenes.  It’s just one of those things in life that irritate and often can be a drain on time and resources.

Here are my thoughts on this age-old issue:

  • No, you are not paranoid.  Given enough time, people who are two-faced will show themselves to be who they are.  It’s almost impossible for them not to.  You’ll eventually be able to verify for yourself that they wear two-faces.
  • Being two-faced is natural for humans.  People are people and there will always be some who just can’t help themselves – it’s in their behavioral “genes”.
  • You will not cure them.  It’s life and so we move on.
  • No, I will not have a beer with them.  When I find them out, I’ll work with them of course in the spirit of professionalism but we’re not going to be buddy-buddy and have a beer after hours or anytime in between.  It’s bad enough I have to deal with them knowing they are so phony.
  • Never let them know.  The worst thing you can do is to try to expose them (“You’re so two-faced”) – not productive or helpful.  It’s enough that you know what you know.

As irritating as they are to me, two-faced people are a fact of life and we must deal with them the best we can.  In the long run, I think it’s always better to know who they are and keep them at a respectable distance without offending them.  They can’t help themselves.